17 Comments

LA DOLCE VITA – FELINE FORMULA


Watch Cat
ORIGINAL WALL MURAL “THIS IS A WATCHCAT WATCHING YOU”
by Kayti Sweetland Rasmussen

Choose only human pets who train easily.
Walk casually, but authoritatively, as befits your status.
Exercise moderately, but never let it interfere with your catnaps.
Make absolutely clear that every soft, warm place,
especially human laps, is yours upon demand.
Occasionally allow select humans to touch your person,
but have fang and claw ready should reverent touches cross into familiarity.
Groom fastidiously; after all it’s the exterior that reflects the interior.
Clean and sharpen claws regularly, prepared for instant deployment.
Form habits that suit your comfort, but capriciously change them to avoid predictability.
Stretch fully several times each day, always with liquid but languid motions.
Never allow your server to think the food couldn’t be a little bit better.
Never! Never! Never! allow yourself to be trained to do anything.

—Claudette V and Lory O, November 2013

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17 comments on “LA DOLCE VITA – FELINE FORMULA

  1. Remain firmly in command. Never give in. Teach them a lesson they won’t ever forget. Don’t waver. Never let on.
    Milo, the incorrigible JRT rules in Australia.
    Lovely piece Kayti sweet.

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  2. Love that painting, kayti. And the cat esssay is so correct- very nice. Cats in my house have it better than the dogs

    ~yvonne

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  3. Excellent post here Kayti. I don’r read the paper anymore unless I take the time to read a bit of the old papers given to me. I generally read about maybe 4 cartoons that have been long time favorites when I was taking 2 papers. I only read the funny ones though. l like this piost a lot. ~yvonne

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    • Thanks Yvonne.  I’m sure I would have much more time if we didn’t subscribe to 3 newspapers!  I too only read a few cartoons, but appreciate the fine art work in some.  There’s a lot more to some than meets the eye.  Kayti

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  4. Sweet painting, and all that you’ve said about cats is true. Love the little sign: “Mauschen Haus”!

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    • Thanks Mrs. Daffodil.  The mural is in our garden folly, with a bevy of mice cavorting on an opposite wall.   Cats are eternally fascinating, although we have not had a resident feline for some years,  we enjoy those who warm the laps of friends.

       

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  5. So true. You are a great feline observer.

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    • And in return for all this care and consideration they show us the path to perfect and complete relaxation.  On the other hand, Charlie , the intrepid Jack Russell  Terrier, will have none of it, and continues to patrol the confines of his yard, and remains in attack mode should an errant feline  dare to ignore his warnings.

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  6. A fascinating painting, Kayti. A watchcat intrigues me. As they say, “Dogs have masters, cats have servants.”

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    • We no longer have a cat, but the master/slave relationship is reversed around here.  Charlie has mastered the skill of simply staring intently at you at both dinner and walk time, until there is no choice but to do his bidding.  Dr. Advice is his usual target, and he is never disappointed.  A friend of mine had a guard-cat who lay in your lap for whatever time he desired, and then suddenly without warning attacked, I once told her she needed to keep a medicine stash nearby for the unexpected.  She had to visit the doctor a few times after his crazy assault.  Bisous!

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      • Haha, “no choice but to do his bidding”.

        Cats are very mysterious, as you say. There’s one around here called Terence, very young and very black. Sometimes I’ll look out my window and see a black flash prance across the scene and that’s Terence. Other times, he comes to the window, looks at me and then hurries around to my door to wait for me to let him in.

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  7. This is spot-on. And I especially smiled at this:

    “Occasionally allow select humans to touch your person,
    but have fang and claw ready should reverent touches cross into familiarity.”

    My Dixie Rose demands brushing morning and night, but woe unto me should I touch her belly or paws. Paw? I think. What’s wrong with touching a paw? Obviously, something, at least in her book.

    Whenever I leave, she spends much of her time under the bed, and takes a while to come out when I return home. I’ve learned – with great hissing, scratching and general mayhem-making on her part – to let her decide when I’ve been punished enough. Then, in order, she (1) lays by my feet, (2) accepts a treat, and (3) presents an ear for a rub.

    It’s taken her a while, but she has me mostly trained – except for that unfortunate leaving-to-go-on-trips business.

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    • Hi Linda,  Cats are endlessly mysterious.  It is amazing how anything that small can manage to direct all traffic in our lives.  They have learned the secret to survival in the equally mysterious world of humans.  We have not had a resident cat for some years, and Charlie would not allow it now.  He looks curiously at the occasional cat sunning himself on someone’s else’s lawn as his walk continues, but so far has never had nerve enough to challenge the unknown.  His family history is not good however.  The breeders gave his father away shortly after Charlie came into the world.  He was given to a farmer somewhere in the country, and promptly killed two chickens and the cat before disappearing forever into the hills.  So far the legacy of his killer instinct has not emerged in either of the two offspring in our family, not even to clear out any vermin who periodically feast on the fruit in our garden.   Kayti  

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  8. I had a little time tonight, so I just came to say hello, admire the kitty again and say I’ve been thinking of you. I hope all’s well, and that plans for Thanksgiving are proceeding apace!

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    • Hi Linda,  How good to hear from you.  I seem to be coming along OK healthwise thank you.  I HAVE to be because the family is coming next week for Thanksgiving!  I’ve put Dr. Advice to work as sous chef!  I’m thankful for so much this year, including having friends like you whom I only know in print.  Do have a wonderful holiday with your family and friends.  I’m eager to get back to writing when this holiday is over.  00XX Kayti

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