17 Comments

50+ LIVE BETTER, LONGER


As the Mills Brothers said years ago “No one wants to be old at thirty-three”. But some people really Are old at that age. A friend asked me how we were handling the aging process, and I realized what a great question that was for ANY age you might be. No one wants to be considered OLD, but as the joke goes: think of the alternative.

In Nora Ephron’s best-selling book, “I Feel Bad About My Neck”, she laments about the sorry state of her 60-something neck. “Our faces are lies and our necks are the truth.” Well, it’s true I’m sorry to say. You can only get so much “stretch” out of skin, and unless you have a long neck, what’s the point? Face lifts are great and I know a lot people who have them. One doctor friend came to a function of ours, looked at another guest and stated “Face lift and nose job”. And he was right. Another friend approaching her second or third marriage had a lift so that she would knock the socks off the groom. Unfortunately it turned out badly, so she postponed the wedding until things calmed down.

We do spend a lot of time and money trying to reverse the signs of aging. We need to get over our stereotypes about growing older and the loss of our beauty. But it’s going, so do what you can and forget it. It’s even bad to refinish antique furniture because you greatly diminish its value.

The change of decades in our lives brings many different reactions. Long ago, a friend asked if he might spend the evening with us as it was his wife’s 30th birthday and she was feeling testy. I began asking people how these changes affected them. Several men seemed to feel anxious at forty, feeling they had not accomplished what they had hoped by that age. It’s different for everyone. Dr. Advice seems to take a great deal of pride in informing people that he will soon be 89. Women, while not exactly hiding their age, do not broadcast it so readily.

Don’t get bogged down in all the hype about aging. There’s nothing you can do; the clock is going to tick away.

Your life won’t stay the same, aging changes everyone. Our frame of reference changes. Our bodies change, and ill health sometimes puts us out of commission. A dose of healthy denial can improve your attitude. The people who do that aren’t thinking that much about getting older. They have accepted the changes and are aging gracefully.

If you live to be 95 years old you’re a survivor. You probably are not going to be living in a big house and driving your car to the grocery store and walking a mile for exercise. Life grows smaller, we get slower, and our steps get shorter. But if you know that ahead of time, it’s much easier to manage it.

But is it possible? Of course it’s possible. It may take a little more effort than you have become used to, but we all have to accept the challenge and learn the new “language”. You don’t REALLY want to be younger again no matter what your age. You simply want to fit in with whatever age group you are with.

One of the best parts of growing older is you have so much more to remember, but you need to keep making those memories all along. Keep learning new things; remember that people are learning from you. The GenFab (those in their 80’s) have no role models; they just have to keep making it up as they go along.

50th Anniv

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17 comments on “50+ LIVE BETTER, LONGER

  1. Thank you for this, truly words of wisdom and insight. I freely admit to struggling, at times, with what aging delivers to the skin, muscle tone, and mainly, to this youth-oriented culture we have let get out of control. I must keep in mind my visit to Paris several years ago, where I noticed French women of all ages who looked good, who still took care to keep in shape, eat well, and exercise…and of course, those scarves.

    In your picture, you look like Cori, Your jewelry is dramatic and Dr. Advice’s bolo steals the show. This sentimental morning in Arizona and your blog post remind me of the vibrancy of my parents (who may have been at the same party, I think).

    Your most salient point is about control–that we have no choice but to age.

    However, I will not go down easily.

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  2. I love my age and aging so far. Sometimes I look at the mirror and wonder “what happened” but I love what I see. It’s an older version of the young me…it takes some time to get used to it. There are different stages in life and each one of them is beautiful…I don’t believe in the youth-culture and people like Sharon Osbourne make me laugh out loud. As you said you can only stretch a face that much LOL. Great post

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  3. I’m glad you remembered the words of Dylan Thomas! The picture was from our 50th and though your Dad was not there, your mother was, and Ron’s mother as well. Your mother learned to transition, which is not easy under her circumstances. That old saw “When one door closes, etc, etc.” needs a little help. Sometimes you just have to crash through it and make it better.
    As Ron knows the Boy Scouts say “Be Prepared”, and we have to prepare ahead of time for the inevitable changes in our bodies. People who tell you it’s easy are lying!

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  4. Charming just like you ! Would love a copy of the photo! Love you

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wonderful photo! You look beautiful, vivacious, full of presence. You and Dr Advice have so much to teach us about living, whatever the age. xx

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  6. Is’n’t it great to be able to talk about decades that have passed. What a journey, what an adventure and still ongoing. We had our fiftieth last year and had missed it if it wasn’t for a good friend who rang us to remind us.
    You both look great.

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    • I spoke to a number of people while thinking of writing this, and it was interesting to see what ages bothered certain people. One man had trouble thinking about it between the ages of 70-72. After that the clock just rolled on. I had a 15 minute cry on my 50th birthday and went on dancing. Children of Navy personnel are called “Navy Brats”, and my Dad had a cake made which said ” Happy Birthday Brat”. That did it for me. As I remember the cake was pretty good too.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You said it, Katy !!! – spot on, 100%. AND I remember the Mills Brothers, too. 😀
    And I cannot POSSIBLY write this comment without telling how much I WANT THAT HAT !!! – I LOVE hats. 🙂

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  8. Well, since you’ve already proven the wisdom of that old saw about a picture being worth at least a few words, here’s mine from last weekend. This is what my sixty-eight looks like. It’ll do, I think.

    Besides, when a guy comes down off a Mardi Gras float to drape some beads around your neck, what’s to worry? Of course we all want to look our best, but the point is to live, no matter what we look like. Or so I think.

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    • What a great picture of supreme happiness! I will post it in the studio for days when I’m sagging a little.
      I’m wondering if the giving of beads originated down there? Now everyone wears gold and purple ones at a U?W game in Seattle. Something new in the past few years.

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  9. So true! I have know people who are so old-even when they are not! I have a friend at 89 who exhausts me just watching her as she is always off on a new adventure of some kind.

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