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SENIOR COMPANIONSHIP


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To love and be loved. Isn’t that what we all want? While meeting with my group of high school “girl” friends yesterday, we discussed the dating habits of the old and much older. While feeling blessed to still have the love and companionship of Dr. A after nearly 70 years, I am aware that none of my other friends share this with me. Sunday seems to be the loneliest day of the week for most older women. During the week there are things to do, but Sunday drags on until Monday.

One friend recently moved to a lovely senior complex in Walnut Creek with park-like surroundings and nice individual homes. She is enjoying everything about it including the other residents. But she says she gets a little jealous when she see couples walking together, perhaps holding hands, and wishes she had that same opportunity. This is the same lady who rolls her eyes when she hears about her granddaughter living with her boyfriend in Italy without the benefit of a marriage license.

This disclosure opened up a lively discussion whereby some ladies thought it ridiculous at “our” age, and several others smiled and nodded while thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea at all.

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Yes, old people still have sex. That may shock some young people thinking there is probably a cut-off button somewhere in the 60 year range. Apparently nursing homes and senior residences are rampant with horny old people, who unbeknownst to the rest of us, still need to be cautious about HIV/Aids.

I was amused that our conversation bounced between “having done that once why would I want to do it again”?—to “it would be nice to have someone to have dinner and go to the movies with”.

Several years ago when one friend was a young 90 years old, she voiced an interest in a gentleman of the same vintage who lived across my street. She hoped I would introduce them, but since he was a grouchy old fellow, I told her she probably wouldn’t like him. Shortly thereafter he took up with a lady who lived near his vacation home. My friend is still lonely on Sundays.

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13 comments on “SENIOR COMPANIONSHIP

  1. Love is a strange beast. Senior magazines are full of advertisements of elderly seeking love and friendship. I read an ad a couple of years ago from someone proudly stating and advertising with ‘own teeth’ seeking a gentleman with n/s. n/d. n/g habits ( Non smoking, non drinking, non gambling) I could be wrong but it could be that the n/s might have stood for ‘no sex!’

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    • What in the world did he/she expect from the friendship? Didn’t they think anyone would have any bad habits? And if so, what would they do for amusement? Maybe go watch old Jeanette McDonald movies. But Nelson Eddy DID have a whole head of hair, causing Jeanette to wail “Ooh, ooh ooh Ooooh ” while waiting for an invitation to the dance.

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  2. I had a friend — age 93 at the time — who was being hotly pursued by a couple of fellows she called “the boys.” They probably were in their 80s. She’d been a widow for years — maybe 20 years, maybe more. Asked if she wasn’t interested, it she wouldn’t like the companionship, she’d just roll her eyes. As she put it, she’d put in plenty of years picking up a man’s socks, and she wasn’t about to do it again. Besides, as she pointed out, having someone around the house again would cut into her schedule: gardening, book clubs, volunteering at church, and keeping tracks of four generations of birthdays and anniversaries.

    I’m not sure she ever heard the expression “been there, done that,” but she surely did understand it.

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  3. Different tricks for different dogs I suppose. I thought it interesting that my friend who was so distraught at her granddaughter’s lifestyle would wish to join up. But very sweet nontheless. You never know until you walk the same path. After 70 years I can say that people become a support system and it becomes very comfortable. I know Sam’s aunt had a long time beau who wanted desperately to marry her but like your friend, she was more comfortable alone and keeping him as a lovely date.

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  4. You know what they say about elderly single men–they are looking for a purse or a nurse. I like old men but were I to be single again, I would never marry one.

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  5. Having a companion when you are older is quite wonderful, if you can work out the “purse or nurse” stuff! Such a dilemma—older women who don’t want to accept the responsibilities that go with a relationship usually end up alone. Many of them, however, are not necessarily lonely.

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  6. In a marriage of many years’ duration, it’s possible to still be lovers without having sex.

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  7. I can tell who else enjoys this!

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  8. At 73 I am so glad to be in a loving, caring relationship. And the sex is great, as good or better than ever. What more can I say. 🙂 –Curt

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