WELCOME TO THE 90’s


To call something a fad, is to think of it as a passing fancy; something to entertain us for the time being, and then move on. A few years ago I had not heard of DNA testing except on TV cop shows. Now it seems that everyone is having the tests done to determine their ancestry and ethnicity. Not to be left behind, I spent yesterday afternoon spitting into a tiny plastic tube, to accumulate 1/4 inch of my precious saliva. At the age of 90 what do I hope to find? Will it prove my indomitable Grandmother wrong in her assertion that we stem from strong English stock with perhaps a drop of Irish blood derived from my sweet Grandpa? This of course does not include any scientific information from my paternal side. Grandma was quick to overlook anything she did not have an interest in. At any rate, it is a talking point and shows I am not entirely behind times.

I was feted royally by friends and family to acknowledge the undeniable fact that I have reached the vaunted age of 90. Dr. Advice reached this pinnacle two years ago, and when I saw the advanced age did him no harm, it removed the stigma I feared might occur. Though I have never been one to dwell on age, it is now amazing to me that I have so many friends who are in their 90’s and still upright and active.

Granted that some people need a little help one way or another as they age. My high school group in Alameda has increased from the original 6-7, as one is now in assisted living and her daughter brings her to the luncheon. Two others bring daughters who drive them now, and I have a good friend who does the same for me. The important thing is that we still come, and our intentions are still good.

We offer “tea and sympathy when needed as well, when we heard that one of our members is being forced out of her home. She gave the home some time ago to her daughter and son in law, but still lived in it. Her daughter passed away last year, and now the son-in-law is moving and plans to sell the house. A clear case of legal elder abuse. Another classmate a few years ago sold her home in Washington state at the request of her daughter and son in law and moved to Texas into an apartment which she hates. She has lost all her long time friends and her money from the sale of her house has been used to support her daughter and unemployed son in law. This is not to put sons-in-law in a a bad light, as I have had very good luck along that line.

All this proves is that as older people we need to stay aware. Hopefully Life has given us some measure of health and where-with-all, with a few brains left to protect both. We don’t need to become pistol packing mamas, but we do need to realize that we have become vulnerable and targets for those out to get somebody. anybody.

There are things to think about as elders though, which were’t a problem in our youth. Some communities have internet sign up groups to put people in touch with handymen, dog walkers, house cleaners, gardeners, and what have you. Chores which we once did for ourselves, but which require more muscle than we have left. Shopping can be a problem as well. We are awaiting the renewal of Dr.A’s driving license and mulling over possibilities to get to wherever in the possibility that he will someday have to stop driving. Last week we did a trial run with Uber to the local Safeway store and back. A good experience and relieved any anxiety we might have had.

Ninety is shaping up and they can start planning my 95th!

Author: kaytisweetlandrasmussen83

I am a retired fine arts teacher, sculptor/painter, writer, and a native Californian. I love my family,dogs, horses, movies, reading and music, probably in that order. I have been married forever to a very nice man who is nice to old ladies, dogs and children.

13 thoughts on “WELCOME TO THE 90’s”

  1. Very good, Kayti.
    We are reading with increasing frequency to be aware of elder abuse. Only yesterday we bought another stiff broom and Helvi has been training swooshing it around like a mad dervish. It’s not only the relatives, but in Australia also Anglican care- homes are at the front-line of attacks on the elderly by staff who seem to get qualifications out of a packet of Wheaties.
    You are right though, it seems particularly rife amongst close relatives eager to get their hands on the estate.
    It is best to stick it out as long as possible and whenever someone as much as hints at a retirement home show them brochures about visiting the Himalayas, tracking through a jungle or do an impromptu Lambada on the dining table.

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  2. Tell Helvi to keep swishing the new broom it may come in handy. My father was in a nursing home for some time when they said he might do well in a half way house. It turned out badly. They said he could bring his dog, but put the dog in a barn infested with fleas and treated him badly. They ignored requests from my dad. We took him out of there immediately. I reported it to the State of Oregon and ultimately found that the couple who ran this place had other complaints as well. It’s hard to be careful when you are not around all the time.

    You are right about sticking and staying. I’m collecting a bunch of brochures just in case. If that doesn’t work, I’ll get out my tap shoes again.

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  3. It’s wonderful to hear that you are thriving, and determined to be in your own home! It’s distressing to read about the elder abuse happening to older folks. It is very disturbing that the abuse occurs at the hands of relatives. Interesting that you tried Uber and liked it. It’s not available in our city, but may be soon. Keep posting, Kayti!

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    1. It’s very important to keep positive. Hard to believe some of the stories of abuse at the hands of caregivers. I feel very blessed to have such a loving family.

      You will enjoy the Uber rides when it comes to your neighborhood.

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  4. Happy birthday to you, Kayti! Of course you were feted royally; you deserve no less! You’re so lucky to be surrounded by loving family, as opposed to unloving family. I spent a few minutes pondering whether an unloving family or no family at all would be the worse situation. If I allowed myself to do so, I could worry myself into a fit over the fact that I have no family, and will be at the mercy of whomever when those days of dependency come. On the other hand, even those examples you mentioned are enough to provide some cheer. At least I won’t have to worry about someone plotting against me!

    I still haven’t tried Uber, even just to test it out. For one thing, I don’t have a smart phone, so I couldn’t use it even if I wanted to. Clearly, I am behind the times. For now, it doesn’t make any difference. Later, it might. Like Scarlett, I’ll worry about that later!

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  5. Thanks Linda. You have a long time before you need to worry about “elder care”. You have developed a rich legacy throughout your life. I’m sure both through your blogging , your work and the personal connections you have made.
    I only had a flip top phone until my birthday gift. The only reason I wanted one was to have the Uber app on it. Strange how that is necessary. You would think it would be easier. My only problem now is eyesight to see the tiny keyboard to order one. I’m going to check with Verizon to see if there is any way it can be voice activated.

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  6. You increase my determination to be proactive about my health so I can live many more years, Kayti. You and Dr. A are a good example of living well to age well. I’m glad to hear about your good experience with Uber. We finally have it in our small town, and I was happy to see it arrive so Joel and I can always use it if necessary.

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  7. I began keeping a file of what I call “resources” several years ago, of people and services we will need as we keep aging. Transportation, house and yard maintenance, shopping, and other things which may come up. We have a gardener, handyman and house cleaner, and now when we may need it, there will be Uber for medical and shopping. I’m sure the little trips to wherever which we are able to do now, will quit, but the traffic has become so bad we won’t mind too much.

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  8. A little bird tells me you were 90 on 2nd April. May I offer you many (belated) congratulations and all good wishes for your many happy years ahead.

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