You know how we all love our pets, coddling them and mostly trying to make them into four-legged humans. A neighbor lady, Mrs Godfrey, was no exception with her charming chubby Chihuahua Cappucino, who was as devoted to Belgian chocolates as his owner. The local vet was a frequent visitor and regularly put Cappucino on a strict diet, but Mrs. Godfrey just couldn’t help herself, a delicious bit of cake or something wonderful off her dinner plate somehow found its way into Cappucino’s mouth as well as her own. The wise veterinarian also prescribed a regular walking schedule, which Mrs. Godfrey followed by having her gardener carry Cappucino around the garden several times a day. It was great exercise for the gardener, but little Cappy gained little from it, except more weight.
When Mrs. Godfrey finally allowed Cappucino to walk on his own, he developed a new ailment she called “flopbot”, which simply meant he sat down wherever he was and refused to walk another step. The dear lady became frantic, positive that the dog was not long for this world, and what on earth would she do without her sweet companion? So the patient vet came again and soothed Mrs. Godfrey while reiterating his advice on caring for the pup. Finally on one visit he suggested she get a companion dog for Cappucino, which would give him more exercise as they ran around her extensive grounds.
A month went by before the vet paid another call on Mrs. Godfrey, and it turned out not to be about Cappucino, but about Cedric, the new dog she had bought to be a companion dog for Cappucino. She had apparently spent most of the month finding just the right friend for Cappy. A perfect pedigree, photos were exchanged, a luncheon date set up, and Cedric filled the bill, so she brought him home. But Cedric had one fault, and it was a big one. It took some time for her to explain the problem, not being one to discuss such embarrassing episodes. Cedric suffered from an excessive amount of flatulence. Poor Mrs. Godfrey was in a state of sobbing distress even mentioning to the vet.
“When does he do this Mrs. Godfrey”, asked the vet. “Only when he gets excited,” she said. “And that’s all the time”.
The vet changed his diet and gave him some digestive pills, and assumed all would be well. however no one estimated the amount of bacterial fermentation going on in Cedric’s body, and each approach by Cedric was accompanied by an aura of unpleasant odor. The vet finally told Mrs. Godfrey that she must get rid of the dog. Thinking he meant sending Cedric back to his Maker, Mrs. Godfrey went into another siege of sobbing. “You could give him to someone else”, the vet suggested. In the meantime Cedric was banished to a garden shed, away from any excitement, until the vet found another home for him.
The following week Mrs. Godfrey was having her annual morning coffee party for the local hospital board, with many prominent people in attendance. It was a lovely morning, and the door to the house was opened to allow people to come and go. Meanwhile, Cedric became bored in the garden shed all alone with nothing to do but tip over pots and tear open bags of compost, so he pushed open the door to see what was going on over at the main house.
Silently Cedric entered the house amid the festivities, and as he moved through the room, happily passing gas as he went, the faces of the guests registered disgust and suspicion as they stepped away from conversations throughout the room. He was soon spotted by Mrs. Godfrey, who shrieked in embarrassment, and threw Cedric out of the house while shouting apologies to her guests.
“Who would want a dog that flatulates all over the place?” she cried to the vet. “Cappucino will be heartbroken, but I cannot keep him”.
When the vet came to collect Cedric, he saw a new part time gardener pruning Mrs. Godfrey’s roses. In answer to his praise of the delightful fragrance, the new gardener said “That may be but I haven’t smelled anything for thirty years!” “You mean you can’t smell ANYTHING?’ asked the vet. “Not a thing”, answered the gardener. ” Say, that’s a real nice dog you got there, always wanted one of them boxers.”
With apologies to James Harriot fo this great story. We are lovers of his wonderful stories “All Creatures Great and Small”.”
Pachofa-Unfinished 