EVERY WOMAN HAS ONE


Throughout history the ubiquitous female breast has been exposed, exploited and envied. From the under dressed native women in the Polynesian islands to actress Jane Russell, for whom Howard Hughes is said to have designed a bra, the breast is a subject of interest. Those who do’t have them, want them. Those who have them, want them bigger.

Olivia de Haviland, star of “Gone With the Wind”, while living in France for a time, wrote a humorous book, “Every Frenchman Has One”. I read her book with interest because a cousin now lives in the house de Haviand resided in during the filming of “Gone With the Wind”.

Apparently the difference between the French and the American view of the bosom can be summed up this way: the American philosophy is of the Bosom Rampant, while the French subscribe to the principle “The Bust Trussed.”

This attitude became clear to her, expressed in the world of couture. She was faithful to the House of Dior as it went through a series of three head designers. She found it a question as to which one tried the hardest to flatten her bosom. Not permanently, just under a dress.

She wrote “The whole thing started at my first fitting on my first Dior dress. There I was standing in the fitting room, half undressed, in merely my stockings, my slip and my bust, and the next moment I was fully clothed and bustless. At first I couldn’t think where I’d gone to. Then I was struck rigid by the idea that some sort of instantaneous and lasting transformation had occurred and that I’d suddenly lost forever what is every girl’s pride. Springing out of my paralysis and into action, I looked frantically down m,y decollete to see what had happened to me. Fortunately I was still there, both of me. But bound and gagged. By a framework of net and bone. The dress’s basic foundation.

“You mustn’t think, here, that I have one of those overexuberant superstructures that really needs lashing to the decks to keep it from going overboard. No, no not at all. It is, rather the sort that you might call appropriate, quite becoming, so it’s been said. Neat but not gaudy. But try as I may, I have never been able to convince the French that the American way is better, and they have always won the War of Containment.

“Of course, I know just as well as you do, that back home in the States, if a girl’s got a delicate, elfin 32, she has no chance but to commit suicide. If she has a tender, swelling 34, she can however, enter a nunnery. If hers is a warm and promising 36, there’s hope. On the other hand, with a cummbersome 40, Hollywood is bound to find her. And with anything over 42, national adulation is assured.”

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“But I must say I do look darn well dressed. And I’m beginning to accept the French notion that a girl’s bust is really more important when she’s got her clothes off tan when she’s got them on.’

IS THERE TRUTH IN ADVERTISING?


felicitous

Is there truth in advertising? If so, we are in trouble, as half the men in the country seem to be impotent. Television commercials and the sports pages of the newspapers are showing a lot of help for these men with the use of Viagra and Cialis, and now many of the unfortunate souls appear to be suffering from low testosterone. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.

It caught the attention of my husband of 67 years immediately when the ads began showing gorgeous women smiling delightedly while their male partners were leering with anticipation. If we really saw that expression we’d call for the cops. It’s interesting to me that some of these afflicted males look barely out of their 20’s. What a shame. I pointed out to him that these were commercials and not real people. He was not convinced, so I called his attention to the rest of the ad: those with health conditions should abstain, and an erection lasting longer than 5 minutes is too long.

I’m sure you remember the famous scene in Gone With The Wind where Rhett Butler carries Scarlet up to her bedroom? The door closes and that is all we were exposed to. Clark Gable didn’t see the need for leering, and while Scarlet may have simpered for Ashley, she didn’t waste any of it on Rhett.

The now common practice of sharing the bedroom and it’s attendant problems with the public is getting out of hand. The newest ad is a pill aimed at the women of the world who are apparently having a problem constraining the men who have overdosed on raising their testosterone level.

Frankly, I don’t believe a word of it. cat